Blog

Your Dog Wants to Eat You

Since I am up and not writing for money, I am going to consider this next post “honing my craft”. That’s what I tell myself I am doing when I am really just randomly writing words until something comes along to distract me, such as my house on fire. Or candy. I have a pug.…
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SAH Lies Your Mother Will Never Tell You

I have now been a SAH mom for over a year. Whew! What an exciting anniversary. To celebrate, I think I will go and do some victory dishes. My attitude has changed a lot in a year. I remember last year, at almost exactly this same time, I was so pumped about getting to stay…
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Music People

Music people are addicts of the worst sort. They hear their drug everywhere and it annoys everyone around them ceaselessly. These are the people who can’t be left alone with a piano. I am a music person. A singer, to be exact. I’ve been singing since before I could speak. And yet, I didn’t realize…
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Craving Adventure?

I was on Facebook this morning, which is actually quite rare for me nowadays, and I saw a good friend’s status update. It simply read, “Craving adventure.” In my life, I have been the kind of person who would make this a permanent tattoo if given the choice. My whole life seems to be a…
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How to Pick Up Chicks

Whew!!  What a marathon of writing! I have been diligently working on my book, “The Neverending Story of Eternal Suckage” and feel that I am getting incredibly close to the final product.  So far, I have been able to get my heroine across the bottom of the ocean, into a secret city, and almost to…
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Hard Math

What I realized, sadly, is that you will keep coming to my blog whether or not I update it. What is even sadder is that you are still just coming to look at my hot cheerleader pictures and goggle over my ranch dressing photos.  The internet is a strange bedfellow, let me tell you. In…
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How Not to Write a Book in 7 Easy-to-Screw-Up Steps

So, there you are. You have a brilliant idea that is just chewing its way out of your skull and you have decided to sit down and finally write it. Great for you! Fortunately, there is a billion dollar industry that is just dying to tell you how to accomplish your goal of being a…
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Fields of Dangerous Flowers

It isn’t fair to you to pretend that I’m not crazy.  Yes, many of you think I’m talking about the dancing in thrift stores and jumping up and down during board games.  No.  I am not talking about this.  I am talking about the debilitating disease of insanity that lurks around every dark corner of…
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Chocolate Cake and Peaches: A Poem

I lie on the grass, stomach full and look at the wide expanse of white cloud-ocean that illuminates the backdrop. My daughter is in close-up, peach ripe smell drips from her face and down her arm in glittering trails of sunlight. She drops the pit to my hand and gives me a wary glare: do…
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Summer Readings

I’m getting a little homesick for school.  I know that sounds totally crazy, but it is true.  My teacher friends are out there somewhere, making lesson plans and figuring out how to make their students do exactly what they want them to.  Meanwhile, back in SAH mom land, I am trying to decide how to…
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Pictures of Hot Cheerleaders!!

Made you look. I always wanted to be a hot cheerleader.  When I was 4, (this is an age we keep returning to, I know) I remember seeing all those cute little fluffy-headed cheerleaders with their fluffy-headed pom-poms and realizing that I really wanted to do that for a living.  As in, “What do you…
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Sunday Struggles

I don’t usually write on Sundays.  It is my day off, you know?  It’s the day that I set aside to worship God in the best way I know how:  watching Disney movies and eating ice cream. Today is different, though.  Some of you know this, but I recently had a birthday.  Yes, now I…
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