Category: Confessions

The Official Site of Author Willow D. Becker

5 Things I Shouldn’t Be Thankful For

  It is incredibly easy to remember all the hardships that happened over the last year. The loss of job, the loss of dog, the loss of my no-pants writing gig. It’s easy to count the losses and grief. I think those things stick in our craw because they are the times that we learned…
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How Lying to a Cop Helped Me Be a Better Christian

No one who knows me would call me a “good driver.” From the time the driving test instructor said, “I’m going to pass you anyway,” to the time of this entry, I have paid out enough money in traffic violation fines to purchase a stainless steel food cart from Craigslist. I still think that there…
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To the Virgins: Sisterly Advice for Your Wedding Night

This post is for people who are about to have sex for the first time, or who would like to hilariously remember all the things they wished they’d known the first time they had sex. If you’re not prepared to read about either of those things, here’s a fun alternative activity!  Wow! You’re really going…
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13 Things I’ve Done Instead of Blogging

  You may be wondering where I’ve been for the past 2 months. Well, there are literally too many things going on to even begin talking to you about them. That’s why I haven’t been blogging about them. Because I love you, I’m going to give you the blogging-friendly version of the craziness my life…
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Plot Points – 50% Mark – Day 14

When you’re writing a book, there are certain points that happen at certain times. Your inciting incident must happen within the first 25%. At the 75% mark, your character must make the final choice that puts him in place to meet the enemy during the climax. The 50% mark comes directly in the middle of…
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Falling Into Smorgentirfen. Because Love is Awful. – Day 10

There are different kinds of love. You don’t have the same emotion for your ugly, rug-humping dog as you do for your best friend from middle school. You don’t have the same reaction to the cute guy at Starbucks as you do for the amazing old lady who walks around in her underwear with the…
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Loopholes – Day 8

  One of the major problems of having no self-control and also being an opportunist is that there is virtually no way of stopping me from doing what I want to do if I am very, very motivated. For example: Do you think it would be a good idea for me not to climb up…
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Cheater Tweets: Emotional Infidelity – Day 5

  I’ve been thinking about this particular post for a while now. It has undergone several changes over time, from content to title, and I’m still not sure I’m really ready to write it. But, I did promise. And, I am a woman of my word. IRL (in real life, remember), good and bad are…
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The Ghost – Day 2

Tonight, after a day of more emotional trauma than I really want to get into, I succumbed to the urge to just haunt my old places of Twitter refuge. My favorite people, my favorite hashtags. Just to listen in on the land of the living. A junkie hitting the same old street corners, hoping/not hoping…
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Twintervention: The Funeral – Day 1

What a lucky human I am! It has been nice to hear so many words of kindness and encouragement from people who I am sure are just shaking their heads at their computers. It’s interesting, but it feels so much like a death, doesn’t it? You still know I exist. I still know you exist.…
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Twintervention: Kicking the Twitter Addiction – Zero Hour

I have officially quit Twitter. Don’t get me wrong. It’s been a lot of fun. Too much fun in many cases. But, I’m now addicted to Twitter. It is taking over more and more of my time, effort, and energy. In addition, I’m just becoming way more emotionally attached to my Twitter friends than I…
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The $2,000 Tampons – A Disgusting Story About My Stupid Pug

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It has been over a month since my last annoying blog confession. And feminine products are to blame. In my life, there has been a clear and obvious trend that I no longer try to avoid. It’s called, “The universal law of everything all at once.” What this…
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