Category: Quotidian Life

Getting older sucks. Trust me, I am the most belligerently unhappy human on the subject. I truly thought that I would get away with being 12 forever. I mean, I am completely irresponsible, awful about keeping myself alive, and pretty sure that everyone who is not me is a robot. And then, it happened. One…
Read more

Being Bipolar has it’s good parts. I mean, how many times have you said, “Hey, I’m going to write a musical,” and then actually followed through with it? I do that all the time. Bipolar people get a bad rap, but the truth is that we really like parts of our illness. The manic phases are…
Read more

I’m one of these weird writing people that loves math. Seriously. Whereas writing is about the ability to perfectly define with words, math is about perfectly defining with numbers. And, unlike language, it is almost impossible to misconstrue an equation. No marriage has ever been ended because 24x + 14 = 50. Although math has…
Read more

  This weekend, my sister graduated high school. She looked beautiful. Bright red dress, empire waistline, thick black belt. Purple cap. She was so grown up. 17 years ago, I was at my mother’s side, watching her be born. I, myself, had graduated high school just a few months before. And now, 17 years gone.…
Read more

  I saw a shirt the other day that read, “It’s only crazy if it doesn’t work.” It was a lovely Oregon Ducks shirt, maybe, or a Trailblazers hoodie. It was a testament to the insanity of “the fan.” These are the people who wear the same socks all season, do 4 jumping-jacks during every kickoff,…
Read more

Princesses get a bad rap. They usually have nice clothes, sing to wild animals and generally act happier than anyone else in the room. Disney was wise to poke fun at themselves in the beautifully naïve character of Giselle in Enchanted. The culminating moment? When the saccharine princess finds out that she has learned to…
Read more

I was thinking about fire this morning. About building fires, exactly. My dad is a master fire-builder, splitting piney logs until they looked like matchsticks, layering them horizontal, crossing each other to make a tiny roofless house, newspaper always in the middle. Of course he talks the whole time, figuring the placement of each element…
Read more

For a long time, I had no idea what Pinterest was all about. It basically looked like the Relief Society took over the internet and then tried to convert the universe. The result? A gajillion pictures of kittens, 5,000 recipes for pumpkin bread and an eternity of articles about how to create party favors out…
Read more

True honesty makes us vulnerable. Most of us spend our whole lives pretending to be the things that we should be. We hide the worst parts of ourselves, hoping that the pretense will somehow overcome the deep-seated secret desires and maladies that lie just out of sight. Most of us won’t tell the truth even…
Read more

There is an innate human need for ownership. We are driven to purchase and acquire things that are uniquely ours. I think this is the reason why marriage has become so popular. Why else would a woman or man knowingly sign up for a lifetime of unflushed toilets and arguments over how to insert a…
Read more

I was on Facebook this morning, which is actually quite rare for me now-a-days, and I saw a good friend’s status update. It simply read, “Craving adventure.” In my life, I have been the kind of person who would make this a permanent tattoo if given the choice. My whole life seems to be a…
Read more

What I realized, sadly, is that you will keep coming to my blog whether or not I update it. What is even sadder is that you are still just coming to look at my hot cheerleader pictures and goggle over my ranch dressing photos.  The internet is a strange bedfellow, let me tell you. In…
Read more